Keep Cool

Keeping as regulated as possible has a lot of upside. The main one is that you will have plenty of room to move when stressful stuff inevitably happens. 

This graph shows two people – blue and red’s, regulation over time. They experience exactly the same stressful stuff, but they have different baselines (the dotted lines).  A baseline is the level of regulation you generally run at. For example, if you were a car— how hot is your engine running? Are your idling too fast? Or, in terms of regulation—Are you generally pretty stressed all the time? Or, pretty relaxed and grounded on average? Out of 10, where are you?

In the graph, blue has a baseline of 2—well regulated. Red has a baseline of 4—a bit less regulated.

Whenever something happens that blue or red finds stressful, they go up, getting more dysregulated. Blue goes up to a 4, then up a 7, then comes back down to their base line of 2.  Blue has plenty of room to move before reaching a 9 or a 10.  Red doesn’t have as much room. They go up to a 6, then up to a 9, then back down to their baseline of 4. 

A 9 or 10, those very dysregulated states, can be difficult and painful. They are also much harder to come down from. For example, to bring a person down from a 10 to an 9, it might take a medical intervention, a month off work, therapy and some medication.  But, to come down from a 3 to a 2 might only take ten minutes. Perhaps it might require a bit of self-reflection and some deep breaths; or a walk around the block; or a quick chat with a friend and a hug; or some star jumps; or finishing work a little early and having a quiet night in—something pretty quick and simple like that.  

Experiencing a highly dysregulated state can also have an impact on a person’s wider life. It can be messy. They can be difficult to be around, not listen very well, be less reliable, get angry in a way that’s out-of proportion to the situation, say things they regret later, etc. There can be a lot of mopping up and repairing to do afterwards, which takes further time, energy, attention and care.  Sigh. 

So, it can be beneficial to keep your baseline low as possible. That way, you’ve got more room to move, and less likelihood of getting up to a 9 or a 10, and all the intensity and energy that can take. 

So, what things regulate you?  What restores you?  What brings your baseline down? What grounds you and returns you to yourself?